#TriggerWarning: Self Harm
A letter to all the razor blades (and lighters) I used to use on myself for self-harming. I have been clean for almost 5 years now (July 6th, 2017) and about a month ago I was in a really dark place. I was worried for my own mental health and safety so I checked myself into rehab for 21 days. Definitely a great decision on my part. I met amazing lifelong friends and learned a lot about myself. This letter was one of my assignments to do, a goodbye letter to self-harming. I hope you enjoy it and take something from it. Much Love.
Jazmine Salmon
To All The Blades I Loved Before,
You've been there for me in my worst times. You've been the shining light on my otherwise darkest days. You've gotten me to feel something when I was completely numb or empty. You made me love you. You made me love what you do to me. You made me love how you made me feel. You made me love pain. You made me need you. And I hate you for that.
You've made me crave you when things weren't good. You made me think that you're all I can rely on. You made me crave you even when things were okay. You were a crutch. I held onto you when everyone let me down. You made me bleed for you. You made me want to bleed for you. And I hate you for that.
Everyone I've ever known scarred me on the inside, but you made sure you were different. You made sure I wouldn't ever forget you. You scared me on the outside too. I have loved you since I was 12, you're the only one I counted on, Always. But Always can't be my Forever. You can't be my Forever. If I continue to love you as strongly as I do, and continue to lean on you as I do then I'm as good as dead. You know that but you still make me love you anyway. And I hate you for that.
So, this is my goodbye to you. I will always remember you and how you made me feel, but I know you're not good for me. For once in my life, I choose ME. And I love ME for that.
Always & Forever,
Never again yours,
Jazmine K Salmon
May 27th, 2022
P.S- You and the lighters can go fuck yourself, wholeheartedly
xoxo, JkS